Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
