Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
