Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
