Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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