All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
