i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
