At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did I show you my penis last night?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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