I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
