I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
