let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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