Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
