did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
