How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
