If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
