turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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