Don't you send me to vm
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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