He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
