he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My feet surprised me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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