Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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