Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
