So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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