Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
