just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
