Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
