What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
