This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
