question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
