Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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