Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
