I wish I only lived at night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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