dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
