just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
