on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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