My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize