I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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