I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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