she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
