So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
