Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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