Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
