I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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