I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
