i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
