AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
