I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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