I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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