flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
