it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
