If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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