Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
