you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
