I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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