Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
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If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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