I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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