idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
