I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
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