he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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