did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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